I think we got used to talking about healing as something that is “hard.” It’s going to be hard, it’s going to hurt, it will take years, I have to process everything in order to fully heal.
I know this, because I’ve been a psychotherapist for nearly a decade! The field is steeped with this kind of impression, and outcomes we as clients can hope for are “hard-earned” and if you don’t stick with it, especially as it “gets hard,” then our healing may slip from our fingertips.
And while I agree, on some level, that the essence of doing deep work can be challenging, I want to offer up that transformation - or better yet, transMUTATION can be as simple as saying Yes to something new, and making the new thing the Very Best Thing.
Think about how you might show up to something if you knew that you knew that you knew that it would be HARD.
No really, sit with that for a moment. Yikes, right? We are naturally risk-averse and want to avoid things that are hard and uncomfortable (and certainly painful) at all costs. We are growth-oriented and survival based; meaning, we are more naturally empowered and motivated towards ease, agency, choice and things we “get” to do vs “have to.”
This is where what we are believing, how we are seeing and the posture of our spirit matters. In the transformational work that I do, my clients are oriented in the language of YES. We look for a deep, Soul Desire and practice saying yes to THIS, with a recognition that to stay in the discomfort is actually the hard they are wanting to move away from.
Yes, but does it hurt?
I think that anytime we awake to our own suffering, there is an element of grief and or pain that shows up. It calls forth an element of courage to presence ourselves with how we have been living, and certainly we may experience sadness over how long we have spent feeling buried by our pain. This is all a part of the beautiful awakening that happens in transformation - it’s the unveiling of truth; the recognition that there is another Way, Truth and Path that help us find our way back to ourselves. So, of course there may be pain associated with this; however, we don’t stay in the pain, we transmute it into something beautiful.
In transformational coaching, we don’t talk as much about healing something as we do about transforming it. It is inherently different from the “hard work of healing” that you may be accustomed to hearing. You will know you are ready when you have done enough work on yourself that you feel in your bones that you are ready for the next level!
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